Expectations…

One word which can trigger a lot of discussions, emotions, stories, experiences and still which never satisfies itself. That’s expectation. A lot of quotes which I find inevitably in Facebook or other motivational quotes pages say or ask me not to expect anything from anyone. Okay. I agree. In some cases, I can nod my head and go with it. But, here comes my question which I have always asked my close friends “Isn’t is natural that we expect from someone if we have done putting in our 100% into a task (conscious clean) and then they just take it for granted?” It is hard to accept it and then disappointment creeps in.

I don’t have many experiences to boast about, but should I say the truth, some experiences have indeed hurt me. I have found time and space just for this person and the trust that person has in me to do whatever it asks of me and in return, well, I have been in the forgotten zone. Not their fault, as they have to move on for they found a good friend in me, asked for help, got it and that’s it. I too have moved on, carefully picking myself up again, consoling that they still love me as their best friend, and blah blah blah.. But the next time, when they ask me for help, I can’t stop myself from asking, “Aren’t they being too strategic?” I still do the favour, but this time, I feel less hurt, or shall I say less attached to this person than before? I think the latter is more sound in my case.

I listened to a story of a dog this morning. The dog was wounded and a Vet found him, took him home and dressed up his wounds. When the wounds were healed, the dog picked itself up and left. But after some days, the Vet heard banging on his door and to his surprise he found the same dog, but the dog had brought with him another wounded dog!! The narrator of the story was explaining  that, the dog had faith in the Vet and that’s the only reason he took another one with him. Also, the dog was sharing the good experience it had with others of its own kind. And that was his way of saying ‘Thank You!’

What does this tell me? Well, it tells me that helping others reveals our nature and who we are and it doesn’t have to be stopped for mere expectations from others. We are all given some kind of talents or gifts which we know about, so why not we use them than lock it up? The way I take it is that, when we are doing something, of course we expect gratitude in return, but there are people who don’t care even to do that. So what to do with them? Remember the  saying “Some people come as lessons in life!” Also, the best way to deal with expectations and hurts is this “Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone else’s inability to see your worth!”

So, the old saying, “Don’t expect anything from anyone,” I don’t know how it works as I haven’t mastered it, but surely I can still expect, do good, and even if people don’t return my expectations, I am able to move on. Not by cursing the people, thinking “You will never change”; No, but I think gladly “God just give me more strength to do more good, so that the more I have, the more I can share!”

There is good in this world. There is bad in this world. It is our choice indeed to choose our weapon.Expect more; to do more! Good day!

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‘Clink…’

Red. Green. Blue. No turquoise, ocean green, sunflower yellow. Ones with stones, the silver one with tiny bells, the golden one with pearls, Oh! it always would take ages for her to describe her bangles. One word. She absolutely loved them.No treasured them. In all shapes and sizes, colours and patterns. When Mela came around every year, she had her eye out for that special bangle. She knew, there still was a special one, somewhere out there, just for her… And she saw it at last.. Sleek and golden, with a peacock design on it, nothing special but it opened so casually and beautifully that she fell in love with it just at first sight. She somehow managed to walk among all those crowd infront of the little stall and reach for it that she saw it being taken by someone else. One strong hand. Her wished for, special bangle bought by someone else. She couldn’t do anything but simply watch him walking away with ‘her’ bangle. She quickly searched for another piece of the same bangle, and even asked the seller whether he had some hidden elsewhere. No, was the simple answer. She was sad, yes, but somewhere she felt different. Disconnected. Yes, that’s how exactly she felt. It didn’t make any sense. Just that she had to let it go..

****

Clink of glasses brought her to senses. The place was filled with smoke from people’s fags. Her own one was nearly dead and she dropped it to the ashtray. Looking at it and watching it slowly burn out gave her some kind of peace inside. She looked at her bare hands and thought, Ah, long gone are the days when there was a clink of bangles wherever she went. So much had changed in just a few years. Not only her, but everything around her. She didn’t want to; but she could do nothing but go with the flow as they all advised her to do. And she did. Embraced a new herself, moved away from her so called dreams and faced reality. Did that make her happy? She couldn’t say yes or no. Well, she stopped wearing bangles. That was one thing she had to get used to. These days, it was just a single charm with a letter ‘N’ that cuddled her hands. Sitting back on the couch semi conscious, she thought about why she was there that night. She had a successful career, a happy family, stash of fresh notes for every friday party, but still something was missing. Oh! Her better half! Searching around the room, she found him talking endlessly to her Boss. “There he goes again for working his way up for another so called promotion! Bah! Crap! He will never get the hang of it.” And she was not going to change it too.. Deciding she had had enough, she picked herself up, called a cab and went home, no her dwelling place.

*****

Next morning, wide awake right at 6.00 am, she turned the coffee maker on. Last night had not completely left her. She needed caffeine. Stronger. Got dressed and walked her way to the little coffee shop around the corner. The only place where she felt being truly herself in the world atleast for the time until the barista made her double strong, double shot espresso. Clink of coffee cups welcomed her in. She felt good being greeted by the lady’s usual smile and she waited for her coffee. Having paid, she moved to sit around her usual table by the window, where she glanced at the mad crowd. Always running. Never stopping for anything. Some had coffees to go in their hands while some had the tablets, newspapers, the ever evolving i-gen technology goods, and some sticking on to the old ways with umbrellas. She took a sip of her coffee and smiled at them. She felt someone occupying the chair next to her. He had his coffee too and he smiled at her. Not knowing what to do, she smiled half-heartedly. “Always the same people at the same place, isn’t it?” He remarked. “Yeah, can’t change it. I suppose” She said. The last thing she wanted now was to have a conversation. And that too with a stranger. She turned away more to the window ignoring this guy and continued with her coffee.

****

She didn’t know how long she was there  with her drink, but when she finally finished it, with a slight relief for her head ache, she found the man leaving. She didn’t want to give him another smile. But just then she noticed something left behind at the table where he sat. She tried calling the man, but no luck, he was gone. She took the little parcel and out of curiosity, eventhough she felt stupid opening someone else’s stuff, she started unwrapping it. It was a lovely jewellery box. “Well, his lover is going to hate him now, for having left this here..” Thinking she opened the box. She felt a bit dizzy, couldn’t blame it on last night drinks, because this was the last thing she had expected to see. It was her same old peacock bangle. The same one which she had seen being brought by someone else. She sat down and started looking at it more. After all these years, now this came to her! And of all places, here! What did that mean? A sign? A message? Or a compliment? Or a ticket to her past forgotten self?

******

She took the little parcel,and started walking towards home. For no reason, it started raining as if she needed it to cool herself down. A little later when she reached home, she had nearly forgotten about the time and literally everything. “Hey, You okay?” She heard her husband asking her. She didn’t stay to reply but went straight to her room. After fiddling with the bangle for a while, she decided to put it on. Wearing it she went downstairs and sat next to her husband. “That’s a nice bangle you have put on your hand, I haven’t seen you wearing one for a long time!” “Yeah, I needed a little reminder!” Saying that she kissed him with a thousand thoughts telling her that she has at last found herself, not a new one, but the long lost one and she will try to stick on to it from now on.. Not for her sake, but for the sake of a tiny clink that ultimately found its own way to reach her..

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Some things are like that. Books, Music, Charms, Pictures, Places and of course People. For no obvious reason we attach ourselves to them, thinking they define us. We have to search for it when we lose it, but we may not find it. Until the right time, it finds us instead. Filling us with its own power, it transforms us, into a new one or the old self, depending what we truly want at heart.

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Thoughts here and there…

 “I like to be happy. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have moments where I am sad and torn apart. I love to spread my light to the people around me. It again doesn’t mean that I am not thrown away into darkness by the very same folk. I wish I was free. This never means that I am chained up. I am loved. But this depends on how you define love. I am safe. But safe from the invisible devils?  I am alone; this doesn’t make me void of any good company…..”

Living the repetitive cycle from Monday to Friday, with an eagerness to have the weekend, where the wished for two days just go in a whiff, sums up the current life. Having a purpose to do the so called job, and trying to achieve a work-life balance tries to keep its own focus. Assignments, lectures, marking, students, emails, meetings, drafts, experiments, conferences, papers, and the list goes on. Accuracy, attendance, perfection, consistency, availability, reproducibility, credibility, management, and the demands go on. You know what’s hard? Keeping up the smile. And harder? Thinking positive.

Yes. As I hear everyday from my peers, “Nothing in life is easy.” I agree. Having moved on with just a simple motive “Why not just give it a try?” has brought me to where I am today. I should admit, I have had my own reservations. But you call it evolution, I have changed the way I look at things. Friendships, relationships, material possessions, family, job, work, nearly everything needed a stir. I wouldn’t say, I have attained 100% in any of these changed thoughts and ways; but it has helped me. It is helping me. And I am still learning. I don’t want to attain perfection either, but more importantly know myself. Also I want to be happy.

  • I have always sought answers, but now I want to ask the right questions.
  • I always said ‘Yes’ to everything; Now I have started saying the big word. ‘NO.’
  • I have nearly stopped being good at camouflage; learning that ‘I’ need my priority first.
  • I have stopped counting myself guilty for everything that goes wrong, because I have noticed people do like scapegoats.
  • Call me arrogant and haughty, but I say sorry only if I see that I really have to. As I have experienced that people do expect you to say sorry for everything which I don’t think is right.
  • I tell myself, sometimes, shouting at the loved ones you love the most, shows them that you truly care as you tend to show your deeper self only to them.
  • I try to think lesser everyday, but my stupid little mind needs more training on that matter.. 
  • Faith is indeed a connecting link, and I feel the power all around me, protecting me and giving me strength every single moment. 
  • The true key I have realised is not about knowing others, and what others would like, it is all about knowing self.
  • I am my first best friend. No denying of that. Realisation occurs when you love solitude in your own company. I do.
  • I want to do what my inner self tells me to do; though I have a millions reasons and excuses ready in my brain against it.
  • Being happy is something I have always yearned and am discovering ways to be so.
  • Last but not least, I AM FOLLOWING MY HEART! FULL STOP.

“I don’t know where I will reach with these thoughts in my mind, but have to tell you, for me destination is not as important as this journey. I may not be able to look into your eyes as I agree, I am shy. I take responsibility for my every action. I have loved every moment with you, no regrets. I owe you for you showed me the way to be truly me and at least face my real self. When I reach out, don’t deny yourself to me as I am not planning to get attached to you in any way, but truly love you and remember you as a beautiful page in my life’s book. Because as you say, I would say too “I am a free bird…” Just that, my wings are still learning to fly…

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Sweet Nothings.. Yet something…

SAM_3169Early morning sunshine turning you blind, but at the same time evokes you to a new day!

The yawn lead half sleep walk to brush teeth and the funny face that stares back..

The smell of coffee beans in the hot water churning out your stomach and you go hmmmm unknowingly….

The foggy bathroom  after a bath making you look at the vapours escaping from skin.. And that unstoppable scribble on the mirror..

The search for the outfit among so many to find that one colour for the day, and then the one legged walk with the heels on..

The honey dripping out of your hot toast which you are so tempted to  lick and then gets you sticky fingers..

The smudge of eyeliner in the corner of your eyes making you think whether you should rub it off or just keep it for natural..

The tint of your lipbalm tasting so full of berry flavour that you want to put another layer just to taste it on your lips.

A kiss on the cheek in midst of morning rush.

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The reply to that one last email before lunch and the run to the cafe to get your perfect salad..

The sweet chocolate melting in your mouth when almost feeling full from lunch.

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A relaxed view of sunset at your office desk at the end of the day.

The drive back home and the hidden smile on your face for your partner.

The relaxing evening shower, where the lather of soap makes you blow bubbles in midst of your bath, and see it float for some seconds before bursting..

The hoped for candle light dinner which turns out to be a yet another take away..

The pleasure of eating out of a jar of nutella, when you can find no desserts in the fridge..

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The cosy lie down on the sofa and falling sleepy straight away…

The warmth of the blanket and a mind floating away in dreams…

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These are all sweet nothings, Yet something…

The other side of little things…

Life is demanding. A lot. It is often seen as normal these days. Always someone is chasing something. A perceived goal, a conceived idea, or a desired dream. Reasons vary.

From personal management workshops to scientific textbooks, it speaks about meeting your aspirations and achieving your standards. There are of course set examples for you to follow; if you don’t need it, it doesn’t matter! All you need to do is to be more competitive. More intelligent, more capable, and in short a super human being in every sense.

Life is a race. This brings to mind the age old fable of the hare and the tortoise. At the end of that fable, the tortoise gets to win. But if this was to happen now, there is not even a chance for the tortoise even to be in the race! Why? Life happens quicker they say and you need to plan quickly, and then run to win! Really? I wonder.

From mere acceptance to corporate successes, there is one thing happening quite a lot in our midst. Pretensions. Or being pretentious. You have to show that you are more than what others think you are; i..e. having knowledge about anything under the sun, ability to solve anything with the power of your words, the looks of a genius and last but not at all least beautiful!

Now what has this actually done? Yes, it will definitely have many stories to boast about, but do they truly weigh that much? Blame it to the circumstances, like they say, I had to do it! It was only for my survival, etc. Well, understood.. No explanations necessary. It has taken away the beauty of little things in life.

You are kind to a person, then it is counted as a charitable activity that adds points to your cause, but not as a token of love. You spend time for your loved ones, it is taken for granted; not taken even with a pinch of gratitude. You help an elderly person at the time of need, you are called manipulative.  You smile to a stranger who looks gloomy, you are called flirtatious. You in midst of your so called gang, and you miss out any latest update in technology, you are called a fool. If you don’t own a high status, a green card, a profitable job, then you are doomed and stamped unsuccessful. There is no room left for mercy, as it is defined to be existing only in fairy tales. There is no such thing as tender heartedness for it is nothing but folly.

On the other hand, if you don’t have time for anything, including your family, you may be hailed as a king, or a queen and if you managed to find time, then you are a hypocrite. Also, if you value your morals, you are called a traditional following old ways, not knowing anything about modern ways. So is caring for and feeling empathy being still valued?

But hey, we are all individuals. We have our positives and negatives. I was reading earlier that we are all equal not higher or lower to any one. It is only perspective. And here comes in the undeniable word. Comparison. If it is healthy, good, but once it gets going out of control, then it steals our happiness along with it…

I think it takes, more than efforts to be self. It is easier to be like some one. But the question is why? Why do we want to be some one or a life which is defined by others? This is our life, and if we all were to be just of one type, then God would have stopped sending babies into this world in the first place. Also, we learn from the nature. Not everything is identical, they are similar, yet different. And that makes it beautiful.

As tender as a new leaf, as weightless as a cloud, as smooth as a flowing river, as fragrant as a fresh flower, as tiny as a sand gravel, as heavy as falling raindrops, as colourful as a rainbow, as cool as a breeze, as soft as a silk cocoon, let us all be different, yet unique.. ! No need to pretend, just be genuine. People who can find it will understand it too.. Others just may not get what you are, because there definitely is an other side to these little things these days..

So what about me? I will carry on doing every little thing that makes me happy. For that’s what it counts, I know there are pressures and responsibilities lying all around us and everywhere but living life to the fullest includes everything, not just money and its offered happiness. To whom? Any one that I care for. May it be taken as pretentious, flirtatious or even fake. I just don’t care! Why? Here, as Julia says,

“Little drops of water, little grains of sand,
Make the mighty ocean and the pleasant land.

Little deeds of kindness, little words of love,
Help to make earth happy like the heaven above.

So the little minutes, humble though they be,
Make the mighty ages of eternity.” — Julia A. Fletcher

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P.S. I enjoyed posing for this, but the plums are very much green.. oops.. Thanks Maggie.. :)

I have done all that I can!

Walking by the sea was never something that she did to relieve herself from thoughts. For she didn’t have a sea in her hometown. Coming to the new town, even for a couple of months has been helping her quite a lot. She wanted to stay from all that connected her to the used to be normal, regular life which she hoped and believed would be the one she will have for the rest of her life. But what all she had to bear in just a year!

A crow’s caw brought her back to the present.

The rhythm of the waves churned her memories, both good and bad, of sweet love, bitter fights, serious discussions, hopeful dreams,  colourful promises, comfort and pleasure, tears and anguish. She could neither count them nor put them in an order now. There were too much of everything. She felt a throng of pain somewhere inside. She wondered how her heart can stay alive after all that happened..

A tear drop rolled down from her eyes. A soothing wind blew it away from her face..

The sand tried to stick to her feet, but couldn’t as she hadn’t wet her feet. She watched as the grains of sand washed itself away from her feet as she moved on. “May be it was like this between us,” she thought. But at the back of her mind she knew, and for very much he too knew well that she had always tried her best to be there for him. “Just like these grains of sand,” She sighed.

The sound of someone playing flute for some random tune reached her ears..

She watched the couples walking hand in hand, parents having a splash with kids, photographers trying to click away their best shots of the sunset, sellers and buyers of all kinds, also some others like her, simply looking towards the horizon. “Will anyone here be like me trying to hide from it all?” She wondered.

The sky was deep red imparting its colours to the blue sea..

“I have waited long enough. I tried my best to make him understand. I just wanted him to prove himself.” The thoughts flooded her again. But to drown them all, she knew the bitter reality. He didn’t give it try. Or rather he never tried. And the last and final bit, He failed her! She was strong on the inside now. For she had cried many times and had had many sleepless nights for thinking about the same thing. “Why couldn’t he just try?” The question to which she will never find an answer for, she had a sarcastic smile in her lips..

The sun was about to set displaying an extravagant brilliance of colours in the sky..

“I have done all that I can! I don’t have it any more in my hands.” She thought aloud in her mind. “I have always loved you, I wanted to be yours, I was there every time you needed me..” But… Simply wishing that I would be yours was not just enough for us. “I wanted you to try. At least once. You haven’t. I wish you nothing but the best; And, You have lost me!” She looked up to the sky. She thought “Is this what You call fate?”

She started walking towards the sea. The waves touched her feet. The cold water was soothing to her. She watched closely again as the water washed the grains away this time. No trace of it anymore. “Yes, its over!” She whispered.

She heard someone calling her name. She turned to look behind her. She saw someone with a warm smile walking towards her.

“You okay? Sorry I am a bit late.” He said. “Yes, I am. I was entertaining myself!” He took her hands and they started walking hand in hand, he explaining how the traffic made him late, how busy the day had been, the FM radio song he had been listening to.. blah blah blah.. She nodded all the way along.

She paused for a second and looked at him. Gave him a smile, thinking, “I owe you for understanding me. I like you for picking me up from bits. And today I can say, I love you..” She stood in front of him looked into his eyes and said “Thank You..”

He smiled, squeezed her hand and started walking again. This time an all knowing silence hugged their conversation.

It was already twilight. The north star twinkled somewhere far north in the sky…

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Bliss of being 25 & Single! With due respect to all…

Oh, I wanted to write this ever since I joined the 25 Club! One or the other friends who catch me in ‘green light’, or being ‘active’ has always this question to ask me. You know it too..

Yes it is the obvious, ” When are you getting married?” question. The inevitable question that nearly everyone asked me when I went on holiday to India last year. No matter who they are; seniors, juniors, family, relatives, church members and who not! Well, I had a smile on my lips first and a prepared answer which was this “Soon after I finish my research Uncle/Aunt/Sis/Bro/whoever!” But I tell you I was tired and didn’t really want to hear this question any more by the time it was time to fly back!

Well, I think it is a genuine concern on the person’s side (some, oh, No, very few) who ask this and for me when I give this answer, it is purely genuine (Imagine a halo around my head). But the problem begins when the questions don’t stop there. It wanders around my future, my conceived picture for my future husband, my salary, and down to the number of kids I should have! Oh! I forgot the warning bit, “you will miss out the good guys and also you will be old when you have kids if you leave this matter unattended.” Nothing but pure shock on my face can be the only reaction to these conversations!

Things started to go out of control when my best friends started getting married. I am so happily ‘liking’ and ‘commenting’ on their Facebook statuses and photos and there my family is busy attending all those marriages and hearing the same question but with a twist this time ..”So then Ajeet,(my Father) when are you planning to give us a luncheon/dinner party like this for your daughter?”  He casually smiles and says, “Ah, very soon I guess! The sooner my daughter says yes, the very next day!” So optimistic! I don’t blame him at all.. For a father whose daughter is a researcher this is quite normal!

Coming back to the topic ‘Bliss of being 25 and single!’ I have intentionally added a respect word here so that I can doubly assure that this is solely my experience and this has no connection to no one at all.. Here are the reasons I think I am blissful @ 25 as a single.

  • I can still study! (Research is making me a good student every single day.)
  • I can explore! (The lonesome travels I make every now and then gives me wings to fly.)
  • I can eat what ever I like! (Spicy, hot, blanched, sweet, and those calories filled dishes to calories less salads.)
  • I can stay awake as long as I want to and sleep peacefully. (Don’t want to discuss too much here)
  • I can read and write! (Not about literacy, but lazy, cozy, coffee cup writing and reading)
  • I can have fluctuations in my weight! (yes, I don’t care if I look like a fat cow)

The list would go on and on with what I can. Let me try some I don’t have to..

  • I don’t have to go for compulsory parties (Of course, if you want a pleased partner)
  • I don’t have to wear make up everyday! (Casual works best for me)
  • I don’t have to report and ask permission before I do everything (Sometimes, due to necessity, yes, otherwise No.)
  • I don’t have to take extra luggage with me (Mine is more than enough)

Well, I want to write more, but I am forcing myself to a stop here. Why?

Because I am not against marriage and I want to get settled one day or the other. Only thing is that I am not ready for it yet. That’s all. Its that simple. Still it becomes hard to explain. I do have married friends and ones with kids and the newly married ones. I respect them and simply wonder at how they manage stuff quite easily. I am boasting about being single and doing a lot of stuff, but I am nothing when compared to the passion, dedication and love these married couples put into their relationships. Hats off to you guys!

Well then, my partner, wherever you are I just want to tell you one thing.When you marry me, you have to keep this in mind, “its Me and You against the world!” No one (even kids) are not allowed to come in between us. I am your first daughter and I will be showing all my tantrums to you (Kicking included!). But at the end of the day I can assure you that I will be loving you till my very last moment on this earth! So get ready to grow old (as they say) with me!

So looking forward to some more years of single life, finishing off PhD, and not imagining myself surrounded with nappies and feeding bottles in the near future at all!!

Yours truly Roshni, Blissfully single @ 25! Image

Rainy Day – The moments of raindrops and Pure laziness..

She sat on her couch with her legs cozily curled. And of course she didn’t want to control the irresistible yawns. Possibly because of an overslept night? Or because of the fortune of having a lazy day off from work? She didn’t know for sure. She made no effort to tie her hair back.. Loose hair locks are pure pleasure on rainy days. She laughed at thought of having them wet! A wet kitten look? Perhaps, Yes!

A steaming cup of coffee and the tempting hazelnut chocolate bar lay beside her cushion. she felt hungry. Wanted to eat the chocolate in a whole munch, but then she also felt like enjoying the chocolate as it stuck to her teeth, leaving its brown impression on lips and oh! the nutty bits too..she felt confused and yet again lazy to do nothing but to stare outside the window..

She looked outside through her glass window in the common room. It was raining like the other days. The days of less studies, more leisure; less freedom, more ideas; less imagination, more dreams; less speech, more words; that was when she met him.. Didn’t know how she ‘fell’ in love; “Well, I did!” she smiled to herself..

The silver raindrops and the silent thuds on the window sills and doors by the raindrops made her feel ever so romantic. She checked her phone for the obvious missed calls; there was none for the time being. “Ah, doesn’t matter;” She thought and stretched her legs on the couch lazily..

The day when she wanted to enjoy the rain that afternoon, he joined her..A casual walk around the college campus; yet those familiar buildings seemed another world with him. A joy filled her heart; He is the ‘companion’, she knew within her.. She controlled the urge to hold his hands. Rather lifted her arms to hold the falling droplets as a memoir of the precious moments..

she looked at the rain made patterns on the walls. Making it cold and wet. It was raining still outside… Seemed endless. It had started pouring right from the start of the day and didn’t even stop for a comfy break. “Wasn’t the rain tired?” She thought lazily..

She saw her walking with him sharing an umbrella together on one rainy evening. She had felt so happy for being able to walk with him. She loved the way he jumped at the puddles, how he carried his satchel above his head. The way he slightly pushed the umbrella more towards her to make sure she was not getting wet.. And then the moment when their fingers touched each other… Their eyes locked for a full second. Felt like ages. Those were indeed moments of love for them to cherish forever; but moments of laziness for those raindrops lazily falling on them.. The wind blew and they walked away with knowing smile in their faces. The image looked bleak now.. She searched for it again to happen..

Now she opened her eyes to know that it was a dream, a long gone memory waiting to be made a reality again.. “Some day for sure”; she sighed..

The coffee was cold now, as always. The lazy thoughts were much sweeter than the chocolate, biting into her last piece she thought.

The piles of journals safely locked up in her laptop bag gave her a nudge of what she should have been doing right now; but she didn’t care.

Laziness was to be enjoyed.. She got up, switched her laptop on and she tuned into one of her favourite tunes in YouTube dialing her sweet heart’s number on phone waiting to be answered… Image

Falling in Love…

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You don’t know about it until you have started missing something .. You won’t feel it until the absence makes you uncomfortable.. You absolutely don’t get it, until you feel irritated about it.. Then the foolish heart says, “Aha! Gotcha! You thought you would never do it! How about now?” Intelligent mind joins the conversation and comments, “You sure about this? You really want to do this? There is still time!”  But then your thoughts and actions push on and say ” Come on, you are brave! You can do this!”   Oh yeah! You can do this. What? Falling in love!!  Don’t you think? Or Oh! Wait a second, I know that smile, You have already done it, haven’t you? And you are now giving me a beaming broad smile! Keep smiling, Keep reading!

Now, a few days ago, I read somewhere, “Love is nothing  but pure anger!” I found it a bit weird, but then later during the day, I realised what it truly meant! Ofcourse it is anger! You know the moments you miss that special person, you get angry. You don’t see his/her’s calls, you get angry. Your calls gets unanswered, you get angry! The special person doesn’t utter those special words and in the special way, again you get angry! All the time angry! Now don’t you see, Love is nothing but only anger? I am not sounding a pessimist, am I? Well, let me finish first, then you judge. All those tiny anger moments will make you more attached to the stupid little heart that you believe beats for you. The care and compassion shown to each other during those silly (or sometimes nasty) fights, would have made you smile at least once! After fight moments are in everyone’s favourites. Those melting chocolate words smudged on each other would happily take away the harsh words thrown at each other! Well, this is the brighter side, of course, there are fights which never end and you just end it with a note of silence. It is totally a different story. Lets not enter that now, may be another time!

Falling in love, sounds easy and we all turn love gurus in some one else’s affair! (I have been in that role many times)  It looks easier; firstly when we are convinced by the character of that person seen until that day we fall in love (later on the picture changes, most of the times). Secondly because YOU think you can do it as you have seen and known so many other love stories.

SO, to end with, falling in love with a person is definitely easy, if you are sincere and truthful in that. For you can easily forgive and forget any negatives from each other’s side. It always has a responsibility factor attached to it! Oo a respect factor too!

Well people, no more advises or guru mantras! Happy falling in love! Not with just one thing! But with everything around you!

Stay happy and love full!

P.S. The inevitable question: Roshni, are you in love?

The only answer I know: Yes, always. “I am doing that always so that I can learn how to do it!” (Adapted from Pablo Picasso)

Reminiscing Gandhi!

SAM_1567aGandhi.  Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. Called as Mahatma. Today marks his birthday, Gandhi Jayanthi. Truly recalling him and his principles on this day? I wonder. Agreeing with peers, today is the day when all the Gandhi statues get cleaned up and gets a garland on! Left without even a glance for the rest of the year. Occasionally Independence or Republic days too. Other than that who wants Gandhi? Let alone his principles.

He noted for his non violence, still stands quiet at market places, courts and other municipal or state building premises. Sometimes he may get the shade of a tree or a flag, but otherwise he gets the company of crows and pigeons, who leave their mark on him! All bearing Gandhi!

Colleges, hospitals and offices do their bit of cleaning and mark their social service week prior to Gandhi Jayanthi. Why? To show that his values are still taken care of? I don’t think so. All part of convenience. Or might be to initiate more ‘funds’ – non violent monetary missions!

Today Gandhi has become just a piece of paper. A picture in the Indian Rupee notes. Almighty power for the rich.
Today Gandhi has to witness division in the society. Based on caste and sub caste. Never mind the religion.
Today Gandhi is fashion where fashionista design their dhotis and kurthis on the same fabric he wore.
Today Gandhi is  witnessing his country being exploited by the very own. In spite of  all resources we have.
Gandhi Jayanthi is one among many other national  holidays, very best in the list being strikes!!

India where Kashmir never sleeps peacefully..
Kargil losing her sons ever; so many families left in dark..
Even a child has to carry a gun before he even knows how to hold a pen!
Girls abused, killed and thrashed …Yet silence is never broken..
Equality is preached over and over again, never ever in practice though..
Not even a single benefit for the common citizen without proper profit for the rulers.
Hikes on food, and petrol always increasing…
Scams hitting record numbers and huge amounts daily..

Oh, Gandhi! Did you dream of such an India? I bet not.
You will not recognise this new India.

India robbed out of her glory, and yet is a millionaire’s paradise!!
What a contradiction! But Truth!

Bowing down before you and giving you a good respectful glance I wish you all the wishes of Gandhi Jayanthi!

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